Adapting for the Future
There's something funny about human adaptation, about human comfort. I remember back in the winter when I was ranting about how Houston is just one giant armpit. I figured I would never stay in this God forsaken town more than 2 years, just to get in my experience of course, and then I'd hit the road. But something happened between then and now. I started settling in. I actually wake up in the morning feeling like i'm at home. I've adapted to the traffic, to the long drives just to go eat, the smog, the smells and even the lack of Sunday services.
I believe it all began to change a couple of months ago when I decided that having a negative attitude towards this town wasn't going to help me at all. If I am going to live here then I might as well make the best of it and settle in. It worked. I've tried to increase my interaction. When I'm not interacting and am at the house alone I don't mind it anymore. I finally feel comfortable. I've accepted being here for possibly 3-4 years. Of course, I'd still like to live in a different town, but for now I'm going to live fully.
This weekend, I hung out with Daryl and his family for his college graduation. It was great. He has three sisters, and the oldest sister, along with her mom, loved to give me a hard time. I enjoyed it. I fit right in at dinner. When I'm not around my family it's nice to be around another's family. I've had the opportunity to hang out with Chelsea's and Daryl's families this weekend and it's just relaxing, chatting and become familiar with other people. I guess maybe I have isolated myself from human interaction at times and it really shows. I don't think I do it intentionally because I'm just an independent person, but the lack of interaction really can take a toll over a long period of time. I'm just thankful that there are people in the area whose company I can enjoy.
I've really begun to find a deeper interest in music lately. I listen to it much more than I did only a few weeks ago. Anytime I'm at the house I have something playing. Yeah, it's usually some DMB or something mellow/jazzy and if I'm in the mood some P&W. I like to listen to those music digital channels as well now. They actually play some decent music. I have found that I possess a liking for the blues, moreso than I originally fathomed. I pondered a trek to Best Buy to purchase, with a giftcard from my workplace, a CD of jazzy blues by some artist. Maybe I'll do it today, who knows.
I also have taken a real interest in American Idol this year. I've watched every episode, which is something I rarely if ever do with any seasonal show. I'm not a big episode/sitcom guy. The main reason for my viewing is definitely to hear the amazing voice of Katharine McPhee. Before you say, it's because she's good looking and all, just know that I predicted her to win the whole competition since I heard her sing the first time. She competes in the finals tonight. She's like the All-American girl. She's 22 also... has nice wavy brown hair, a nice figure.. and.. ok, you are right, I relinquish the fact that I have a small crush on the talented woman. That's really odd for me too because I can't remember a time when I was this intrigued by anything or anyone on TV. I've always said that my future wife will have an amazing voice, and that's one reason why I'm attracted to her. A beautiful singing voice, one that can quiet a crowd, is the biggest turn-on in the known universe. Needless to say, I'll be rooting her on tonight.
Other happenings lately involve my finalizing of our Northeast Extravaganza, aka Summer Family Vacation 2006. It's going to be grand. I've spend much of my days off for a straight month now looking into the most minute details of each day's activities. I have even viewed 15-20 online menus from local restaurants trying to find one that serves food the whole family will like. This planning is a guarantee to make our vacation more efficient and enjoyable. We are going to get a ton of activities done considering the time span that is offered to us. I think it has the potential at being the best family vacation since my conception. The itinerary is set, now it's time to make it happen!
The most positive part of May for me was definitely my ability that God has given me to control my temper. I don't think I have had an outlashing of anger in a long time. The main reason for that is giving up gambling for now. Wow, it's amazing how much that has changed my person. Just purely in my attitude. Not only am I more stressed when gambling, I'm angry much more often. I also become sensitive and snap easier at others. It feels better not stressing about funds being up for grabs daily.
I really haven't talked to God much lately, but I'm not worried about it. I worked 6 days in a row and as I mentioned before I refuse to get down on myself. It won't happen anymore. I know who I am. God knows who I am. If I'm not commiting myself to what I should at times, then I'll make the effort to recognize it and change it. There's no reason to dwell on the fact that I didn't talk to God more than a couple of minutes yesterday. He knows me. He knows my heart. He knows what I really desire. So it doesn't matter what I did as long as I recognize and adjust. There's really no use in always starting the morning fighting an uphill battle with yourself. Let Him take care of the past and live today fresh and anew. Lot's wife looked back at the past... and it killed her. Don't look at the past, look to the promises in front of you.
I believe it all began to change a couple of months ago when I decided that having a negative attitude towards this town wasn't going to help me at all. If I am going to live here then I might as well make the best of it and settle in. It worked. I've tried to increase my interaction. When I'm not interacting and am at the house alone I don't mind it anymore. I finally feel comfortable. I've accepted being here for possibly 3-4 years. Of course, I'd still like to live in a different town, but for now I'm going to live fully.
This weekend, I hung out with Daryl and his family for his college graduation. It was great. He has three sisters, and the oldest sister, along with her mom, loved to give me a hard time. I enjoyed it. I fit right in at dinner. When I'm not around my family it's nice to be around another's family. I've had the opportunity to hang out with Chelsea's and Daryl's families this weekend and it's just relaxing, chatting and become familiar with other people. I guess maybe I have isolated myself from human interaction at times and it really shows. I don't think I do it intentionally because I'm just an independent person, but the lack of interaction really can take a toll over a long period of time. I'm just thankful that there are people in the area whose company I can enjoy.
I've really begun to find a deeper interest in music lately. I listen to it much more than I did only a few weeks ago. Anytime I'm at the house I have something playing. Yeah, it's usually some DMB or something mellow/jazzy and if I'm in the mood some P&W. I like to listen to those music digital channels as well now. They actually play some decent music. I have found that I possess a liking for the blues, moreso than I originally fathomed. I pondered a trek to Best Buy to purchase, with a giftcard from my workplace, a CD of jazzy blues by some artist. Maybe I'll do it today, who knows.
I also have taken a real interest in American Idol this year. I've watched every episode, which is something I rarely if ever do with any seasonal show. I'm not a big episode/sitcom guy. The main reason for my viewing is definitely to hear the amazing voice of Katharine McPhee. Before you say, it's because she's good looking and all, just know that I predicted her to win the whole competition since I heard her sing the first time. She competes in the finals tonight. She's like the All-American girl. She's 22 also... has nice wavy brown hair, a nice figure.. and.. ok, you are right, I relinquish the fact that I have a small crush on the talented woman. That's really odd for me too because I can't remember a time when I was this intrigued by anything or anyone on TV. I've always said that my future wife will have an amazing voice, and that's one reason why I'm attracted to her. A beautiful singing voice, one that can quiet a crowd, is the biggest turn-on in the known universe. Needless to say, I'll be rooting her on tonight.
Other happenings lately involve my finalizing of our Northeast Extravaganza, aka Summer Family Vacation 2006. It's going to be grand. I've spend much of my days off for a straight month now looking into the most minute details of each day's activities. I have even viewed 15-20 online menus from local restaurants trying to find one that serves food the whole family will like. This planning is a guarantee to make our vacation more efficient and enjoyable. We are going to get a ton of activities done considering the time span that is offered to us. I think it has the potential at being the best family vacation since my conception. The itinerary is set, now it's time to make it happen!
The most positive part of May for me was definitely my ability that God has given me to control my temper. I don't think I have had an outlashing of anger in a long time. The main reason for that is giving up gambling for now. Wow, it's amazing how much that has changed my person. Just purely in my attitude. Not only am I more stressed when gambling, I'm angry much more often. I also become sensitive and snap easier at others. It feels better not stressing about funds being up for grabs daily.
I really haven't talked to God much lately, but I'm not worried about it. I worked 6 days in a row and as I mentioned before I refuse to get down on myself. It won't happen anymore. I know who I am. God knows who I am. If I'm not commiting myself to what I should at times, then I'll make the effort to recognize it and change it. There's no reason to dwell on the fact that I didn't talk to God more than a couple of minutes yesterday. He knows me. He knows my heart. He knows what I really desire. So it doesn't matter what I did as long as I recognize and adjust. There's really no use in always starting the morning fighting an uphill battle with yourself. Let Him take care of the past and live today fresh and anew. Lot's wife looked back at the past... and it killed her. Don't look at the past, look to the promises in front of you.
posted by Benjamin K at 5/23/2006 08:07:00 AM
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