Yo soy un solitario no mas

I changed my mind. It's not a girlfriend that I miss, it's attention that I miss. I'll admit it, I really need attention and encouragement. I get down on myself fairly easy. Although I refuse to allow myself to dig my own hole, it seems like it always ends up dug out anyway. I can't explain it. My life right now is fluxing too much considering there is no reason for it to be this way. I need to wake up and snap out of it because I am here to do things for the Lord and nothing can stop me.

It's always something. Gambling. Alcohol. Lust. Depression. Loneliness.

Take your pick, and I bet on any given day I am acting upon one of these things. And before you say, "What's wrong with depression/loneliness?", think about this... What circumstances do we experience that usually lead us to sin ... Depression & Loneliness? I think so. We allow this to come over us. It can be stopped.

Pray.
Be Optimistic.
Make Friends: do NOT isolate youself.
Curse the devil in Christ's name if these feelings engulf you.
Be involved in a church/singles/faith-led organization.

Although I have some great friends, I still feel the need to shout out to the world that I need somebody, someone that can be accountable for me, someone that is close, someone that shares similar faith, someone filled with LIFE, energetic and outgoing... cuz right now I just don't feel these things.

I never admit to being lonely, but I've decided that I am. It's leading to other sin that can be stopped by chopping out the root of the problem. So, I need to take my advice and apply it and keep praying for a friend that's nearby. I know he/she will come my way. Everytime I talk to a friend or someone I haven't seen in a while I become a better person.
Conversation is an amazing thing!

Bottom line: I'm not searching for a girlfriend.
I'm searching for accountability, attention, and more long, intelligent conversation.
Loneliness is for the birds.

Reminiscing

I just slid in Third Eye Blind. The one we all listened to in high school. Yeah, you know the one I'm talking about. The classic one. The one with "How's it gonna be", "Semi-Charmed Life", all the great stuff.

Instantly, I was in such a good mood. It's weird how much of an effect music has on me. On anybody for that matter. Music is such a powerful force. I underestimate it. I've seen first hand how it can influence a great number of people. That's why I guess it actually is pretty important what music we choose. It reflects our attitude a great deal of the time.

Swap of topics...

I'm really starting to miss having no girlfriend. It's been a long time and I knew I didn't need one in college, but I think I have the time and money now to have a g/f. Now these songs are making me think of the past girls. Dangit. Stupid music!! Oh well it's worth it. Let myself float back sometimes. It's amazing how far I've come and how fast it all flies by. I kind of want to grab back onto the past, but then I think... wait a minute.. that means school again. That's the end of that thought.

So we got like 5 inches of rain in Houston today... I figured I was right when I was telling friends to have an umbrella ready. It looked like the heavens were gonna open up for a while and they did.

Anyway, I gotta get some sleep. Another 12 hour shift awaits me, then off to CsTX for the long awaited graduation of Raymond Boy Garcia.
Congrats Rayzor!!

As the English say..

Cheers!!

Weekly Weather

Lo pressure system will roll in from the west coast on Tuesday-Wednesday as well as a cold front overnight Tuesday.... this provides lift for storms
Winds will shift from the SE on Tuesday... this provides moisture
Lift + Moisture = Rain

Therefore, rain/thunderstorms looks very promising for Tuesday and Wednesday, with the best chance late Tuesday into early Wednesday.

Temps will be mild staying in the 60's for highs.

In other news, I bought a car so I'm a lot less stressed this week. Although, I'm sitting at work today for my 6th straight 12 hour shift. I bought a Camry 2000 LE, it's a nice car and it's not too small like the celice. Plus, it's really quiet, I can drive 60 mph without so much as a hum. I got used to the celica roaring since it was a convertible. I actually like this car better because now I can have people ride with me, I can enjoy a warmer/cooler car... and this car has half the miles of the celica. And I only spent 1,000 dollars of my own money with that much of an upgrade. It was a pretty sweet deal. I couldn't believe the insurance gave me $6,400 for my celica. That's unreal, another blessing from the heavens. aaaaaAHHHHHHHHH

I'll be in CS on Monday probably, so Chris if you do something for your bday maybe I'll get to come. I'll keeps ya updated.

Cold Air on the way

Yeah, we had a cold front move thru today in SE Texas, but this front was weak compared to the one behind it. By Wednesday, a strong front with some polar air will drift thru Texas and bring a winter chill to us all asking relentlessly for something resembling Christmas time.

If that isn't good enough for you, snow is a definite possibility in central Texas. I don't think any accumulations over an inch or two will occur but the snow line may reach as far south as the Killeen/Hearne region.

I'd say the BCS region even has a slight chance at seeing a flurry or two, but probably mixed in with sleet/rain.

Psychoanalytical Wit

New realization: I've discovered that my gift to read people's emotions/actions/words and analyze them into deeper thoughts and mindsets as one that will lead me to further success ahead.

I have trouble showing my emotions but I'm real good at explaining why others have certain emotions. The reason I was thinking about this though is because I have started showing MY emotions a little more. I'm a hard head, I don't show emotion, sometimes when I NEED to. Women feed off of the emotion shown by the people they love. It's the way they were created, to be stimulated by emotion. I never did that. It even became a problem to the point to where my own mom questioned it. That's when I knew I'd needed to learn to express myself more often. It's taken a couple of years since it was pointed out, and I'm just now coming around to showing more emotion. I almost feel like it's a sign of old age. Perhaps, it's just maturity. I suppose. Either way, it's a new road for me. I'm happy to take a new route though. For one thing, I need to build up my weaknesses so that I can be used in whatever means necessary to glorify God in the best way possible.

The prophetic ministry has a lot to do with sensing emotion. And that's why God is teaching me more about expression. Expressing not only myself to others, but discovering what expression means and how to analyze it from simple observation. I will be a better listener and doer for God and those around me because of it.

This is a boring read, I know.... I just write off the top of my head... but I'm heading in a direction in which I can begin to type interesting topics in segments that can be used as a part of a ministry. Training and practice is key. So this is my roughdraft for a greater good. It's my ideas jumbled together while I am trying to find a congruency within my analytical mode of thought provoking ideas that randomly bounce off my brain. Writing is much easier than talking. Mainly because we can EXPRESS ourselves more freely.

Another point that brings up.
We should all learn to communicate more personably. It would save tons of unneccesary heartache

For example:

AIM... Good ? Bad? Both? I've used it to do some works for God before, but then again God will use any means he can to have you do His works. It can be great but detrimental at the same time.

Strengths:
Communicate freely w/out being as worried about other's reactions
Not wasting cell phone minutes on meaningless jibber-jabber
Convenient to type, surf, listen to music, and work at the same time.

Weaknesses:
Emotions are not drawn through text that well, therefore misunderstandings occur occassionaly
Impersonable method of communication takes away from a connection that can only happen when two people exchange ideas in person, or at least on the phone.

I'm guilty of overuse of AIM. So I won't be using it much anymore. Only to talk at times or to keep my blog site up for others to see. I want to find a better connector between my emotions and others' emotions. It starts by giving up on AIM as a beneficial tool to communicate effectively. I want to talk more in person, on the phone, with a live voice in my ear... that's the only way I become a better listener, which is in fact my GREATEST weakness of all.

I'll stop, and listen... I can hear the most important voice of all...
More personable than anyone, and the best listener I have ever known.

I sure could learn a thing or two from Him.